TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
