Kiss
Puke
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
