I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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