No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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