i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It's blow job season.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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