What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
