I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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