I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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