id be glad to
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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