no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
