ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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