I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
