Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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