honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
