i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
