Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
