that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
