Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.

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(479): View more from Arkansas

he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha

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(705): View more from Ontario

i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.

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(417): View more from Missouri

How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?

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(573): View more from Missouri

Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter

(323): View more from California

yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake

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(619): View more from California

I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode

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