No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
