After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
