he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
