ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
