I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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