i think my tv is drunk
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
