This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize