He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
