Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize