So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
