I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize