I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
