I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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