oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
