so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
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