Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
