i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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