Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize