all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
