you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize