i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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