Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
