I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
