omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
