when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
