Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
