I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
