wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
