I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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