My Higher Power is John Stamos
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Swine flu is the new snow day.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
