is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
