no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
