Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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