I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
is wine microwaveable?
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
