I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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