I bet he comes in French.
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
