This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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