I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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