that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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