i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize