Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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