forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
My pussy is not your playground.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I just forgot I was standing up.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
