dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
